Tips for a spook–free farm on Halloween

I have a pretty vivid imagination. As a bonus, I’m literally afraid of my own shadow.  Every dark morning or evening that I trudge out to the barn, I have to work pretty hard to keep away thoughts about creatures of the night attacking me before I can flip on the barn lights. Whether or not the creatures I imagine are real, the fear I feel is definitely real.


Halloween makes all this fright much worse, because we all know it is the night that belongs to all things spooky. Add my tendency to watch several paranormal/ghost hunting shows fairly regularly into the mix of Halloween and my vivid imagination, and it is easy to understand how Halloween can become nearly a crippling experience for me because of my fears both real and imagined.


Unlike the “stars” of the ghostly reality shows, I watch these individuals search out all things spooky so I know what NOT to do.  I’m not watching them to learn how to find demons or ghosts; in fact, I’m pretty convinced these folks are messing with things they should not be messing with. I watch so I know what NOT to do.


Based on my vast experience watching creepy reality shows, I can offer you the following five tips to avoid a spook filled farm this Halloween.


• Don’t be curious. This is pretty standard stuff, but if you find yourself becoming curious about ghostly things, it is probable that you will be tempted to investigate what appear to be ghostly occurrences. This is a big mistake. When homeowners start to investigate paranormal activity on their own, bad things usually begin to happen. Just trust me on this one!


• Don’t provoke the unknown. This tip is sort of similar to the one above, but you really need to heed this warning. Very, very bad things can actually happen to you (or hurt you) if you start messing with and provoking the wrong entities. I’m scared already so let’s move on.


• Don’t hold any kind of non-Christian religious ceremonies. Come on people, use some common sense. It seems like all the really dangerous and evil hauntings end up having something to do with demonic forces. Do the smart thing and leave well enough alone.


• Never visit spooky places alone. If it feels scary to you, why take a chance? Most of the time it seems like the ghostly encounters on TV start to occur when folks are by themselves. Remember there is always safety in numbers.


• If you feel threatened, call a priest. I’m not Catholic, so I don’t really understand why this works, but it seems like Catholic priests have a better understanding of ghostly forces and are better able to fight off all nasty entities. They also seem more likely to believe folks than non-Catholic pastors.


I’m already feeling scared just writing about all this spooky stuff so I’ll wrap it up for now. Just remember that whether or not what I saw on the ghostly shows I watch was real, it is better to be safe than sorry because there do seem to be some consistent themes that seem to make me believe some of these encounters are based on reality.


Hopefully, all of you think this is non-sense, and you have never had a paranormal experience. As for me, I think I’ll play it safe and order a cross necklace and some holy water before next Halloween just to be on the safe side.


Happy Halloween!

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